How to show up | Thrive Around The Table Ep. 3

It’s been quite some time since I’ve made regular appearances on Facebook and on social media. I’ve needed a moment to breath. My family and I have needed a moment to finish big personal projects and cultivate a household for our new homeschool life. But, what really got me was when my uncle Doug passed away unexpectedly this April.

When I was young, I was much closer to my uncle Doug and his wife Teresa. My uncle lived right next door to his sister, my aunt Lisa, and right across the way from his sister, my aunt Lois. Going to any of their homes was so awesome because I got to see everyone at the same time! I loved spending the night at Teresa and Doug’s house. They didn’t have children so I would get all of their attention AND I had both of my aunt’s right there too! They made me feel so special!

That time in my life seemed the most simple. Being so young that I didn’t understand all the “adult” problems they were all facing. All I knew was the joy I felt when I was with them all. And then, it all took a turn. Everyone started parting ways from that little family compound and my family experienced a huge life change with my parents separation and then soon after they divorced. Everyone I loved, my safety and security began leaving me. Oh, how Satan has had a field day using this over the years of my adult life. He took that division that I experienced as a young girl and put up all the walls around my heart to keep me from experiencing the love of community as a young adult. Surface level friendships are all I’ve known for decades.

While we were making that ten hour long drive home from my uncle Doug’s funeral, God spoke to me so clearly. He told me, “No more Facebook. You have to be face-to-face.” Man-O-Man did that open my eyes! I need to show up differently IN peoples lives and stop consuming the information about who, what and where they CHOOSE to post on social media. There are no depths in a Facebook “friend” relationship. Real life is experienced FACE-TO-FACE, dealing with the nitty gritty together, celebrating the wins together, navigating/mourning the loss of family together!

There are so many moments that will be experienced in the face-to-face that can’t be revealed in a photo and a Facebook post!

In the beginning of Luke, it describes the infertility struggle that Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth faced. They were old but God still had a plan for them. When Gabriel, an angel of the Lord, came to visit Zechariah to reveal that he would have a son, Zechariah didn’t believe the angel. In that very moment of disbelief, Zechariah’s voice was taken from him!! I’m just imagining that God didn’t want him coming home to his wife speaking any disbelief about this pregnancy! For the first five months of their pregnancy they were in seclusion.

Six months later God sent the angel Gabriel to visit Elizabeth and Zechariah’s niece, Mary. Gabriel revealed to Mary that she would conceive a Son and was to name Him Jesus. He also revealed to her that her aunt Elizabeth had conceived a baby boy too! Mary rejoiced when she found out the news of her aunt and uncle being pregnant!! She got her things together and immediately made her way to their door step to congratulate them! When Mary congratulated her aunt Elizabeth, her aunt’s baby LEAPED for joy in her womb!! Mary spent the next three months with her family.

Could you imagine when God revealed to Mary that her aunt Elizabeth was six months pregnant, if she decided she didn’t have the time to show up so she wrote her a Facebook message, “Congrats!”??? Instead, she took the time out of her schedule and WENT to greet Elizabeth. When Mary excitedly congratulated her aunt, Elizabeth’s baby leaped for joy in her womb! Doesn’t it hit differently when you have a real human standing at your door there to congratulate you and love on you instead of a message in your inbox?? There was something uniquely powerful about Mary’s physical presence there with Elizabeth, and not just her presence but the presence of the One that she carried. Elizabeth and her baby were full of joy because they were in the presence of God through the person of Jesus in Mary’s womb. Y’all, I want to make someone’s “baby” LEAP! And, I want someone to make my “baby” leap for joy too!! Not because of ME but because of Jesus!

How are you going to show up differently?

I can’t expect for someone to just show up for me. Waiting on them has failed me over and over again. . I HAVE TO SHOW UP FIRST and I have to show up well! I have to show up healed. I have to show up like Mary did, with LOADS of faith in God!

And, just as the angel Gabriel told Zechariah and Mary, “Do not be afraid.”

Go check out our latest episode of Thrive Around the Table! We recorded our Thrive event, Friendsgiving! It was so good and one of our fave events and we just had to share it with all of you that couldn’t make it! Link below!

Healing happens in the commitment. . .

About four years ago my life felt like a train wreck. I was exhausted. My joints hurt. I couldn’t move. My brain was numb and felt really dumb. I couldn’t put thoughts together to form sentences. I was spiritually dead and my entire body felt the pain of it. I went to several doctors but they couldn’t heal me. They couldn’t tell me what was wrong. They gave me tons of supplements. I would take so many supplements that I would feel full, like I had just had a meal! Those didn’t heal me.

Now, let me back up just a bit here and give you some of the back story. . .

About three and a half years ago, I was invited to go to a church in Atlanta with a group of ladies that I hardly knew. My workout instructor, Chelsea, invited me to go. Passion City Church hosts a women’s event every month called The Grove. I was so nervous. My spiritual life wasn’t what theirs was and when I sat too long and compared myself to them, I really didn’t want to go. Something told me to “go anyway!” While we were there I met the pastor’s wife of the church I had been working out at for almost a year. Her name is Katelyn. Chelsea attends Church at the Grove and taught workout classes there. I hadn’t ever attended the church services but loved my workouts with Chelsea. She made it more than just working out. She made it spiritual. She brought Jesus and made sure that we were all prayed over before our workouts.

A few weeks later, after meeting Katelyn, I began attending services with our three children at Church at the Grove. It was everything and MORE! The worship is beautiful and the message God speaks through pastor Nathan is always spot on! Something was missing though.

It was sometime in December that God put it on my heart to ask about their women’s ministry. Did they have one? How could we start one??? Like, God was putting some crazy big plans in my head that were completely uncomfortable and way above my knowledge levels!! One Sunday during service, I felt so uncomfortable. I was stirred up, fidgety and lead to ask Katelyn, who I barely knew at that time, about starting a women’s ministry. I was so nervous as I walked up the aisle to her after service. When I got to her, she was talking to Staci. A friend I knew from our days at Solid Rock Baptist Church in Covington. I attended for a short while there and got to know her. She was now attending CATG. But, as I approached Katelyn and Staci, I heard them very excitedly talking about starting a women’s ministry. I had tears streaming down my face before I could even speak to her about why I was standing in front of her. That’s when Staci pulled Chelsea by the arm into our circle and said to her, “You need to be a part of this!”

GOD was working out the details for something big!!

In about one month’s time, God worked out every single detail for our new women’s ministry. It was to be called THRIVE and backed by the verses from Ecclesiastes 4:9-12:

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

We ran on adrenaline and the Holy Spirit for months! None of us knew exactly what we were doing and it took us about a year before we felt like God made it clear what our talents and strengths were within this mission He blessed us with. But, before this beautiful melding happened, I secretly didn’t feel like I fit in with these amazing women. I was so uncomfortable. I wanted to quit. I WANTED TO RUN!

Even though I had known my sweet friend Chelsea for over a year working out with her, even though I had known Staci for over eight years, I just didn’t feel like I stacked up! I took this to the Lord, time and time again. Explaining to my sweet Father that this just wasn’t for me. He told me over and over to, “Stay. Sit in My Presence”, “Be still”. “Do not give up”, He would encourage me. So, I stayed and I continued to pray!

You see to get to this point in my life, I had to do something even harder than staying with this amazing group of ladies. I had to give up several friendships. Friendships that I had had for over six years. I was comfortable with these ladies. These were my first friendships as an adult and a mother, too. However, they just weren’t helping me grow spiritually and I wasn’t helping them grow spiritually either. I recently looked back at this passage that I wrote around the time I was growing from all this. . .

Dear Lord, thank you for confirming to me that the friendships you pruned away, while fulfilling in so many wonderful ways, were completely empty spiritually. Thank you for hearing my cry and plea for friendships that are centered around you! You delivered and I am so grateful. Please teach me how to be a good, spiritual friend! Thank you for creating my critics, haters and those nay-sayers. You used them to get me closer to You! Please allow their oppositions to drive me forward in relationship with you through prayer and petition and thanksgiving. If it weren’t for them, and for my health issues and the struggles of my past, I wouldn’t be here, pressing forward and praising You in Your Holy Name!!

Even though I knew God had blessed me with new, spiritual friendships and this new incredible mission, I wanted the comforts of the old relationships. I had to give it time to grow! I had to COMMIT and truly let go of the idols I had placed before Him! I began praying for others. I specifically prayed for whoever crossed my path through the story of my pain. I prayed for them, that they would see my Redeemer, my Savior, my Father through my broken story.

God’s Word was my “hug” during all this! It was the DETOX that my body needed! His scriptures gave me hope, peace and the ability to keep on walking the straight path He created for me.

Healing happens in the commitment to our Savior!

As my commitment to reading God’s Word began to take priority in my life, I began to understand who I am and who I was created to be. I became more dependent on the Lord instead of unhealthy friendships and self reliance. I joined a bible study and started one at our home too. I learned so much from these women!

As my soul was being nourished, I started to heal!

I became more confident and assertive! I realized the difference between instant gratification and the Lord’s Best. I surrendered. I began to give God control of everything: my schedule, our finances. My life didn’t get easier, by no means! However, I was able to see things from a Kingdom Perspective instead of my own. I realized the control wasn’t in my hands, rather that God is in control of who is in control. I received God’s grace and mercy!

Healing with my sisters!

Through our Bible study groups, I learned two key components:

1. By sharing our hearts and confessing our sins to one another, we now know how to pray for one another. I had prayer warriors that were fighting battles with me and me for them too!

2. One sister’s struggle was mine at one time and I know how to navigate it! Now she won’t have as hard of a time completing the trek because she now has my knowledge. Sometimes it’s the other way around. We are able to share God’s Word with one another. His truth gets us through!

But, JESUS did!! Jesus healed me. My whole body was healed, including my SOUL, through my commitment to Him!

And then I came to church. I felt celebrated and as I came more I became known and felt loved. In my commitment to showing up, I started to heal. 

I was caught up in making a name for myself that was beyond the pain of my past. That would prove that I wasn’t my past. But I learned that none of that was necessary. God had already called me to be His child! An heir to the throne. Accepted. Loved. 

Dear Lord, Please break the strong holds that keep her bound in a place where NO growth happens!! Lord, we know that the crushing has to happen for your plan to unfold and that you only crush the one’s you love the most so that your plan will prevail!! Lord, our first reaction is to RUN, to go to others and talk about the difficultly that we are experiencing. But, they can’t heal us. So, today Lord, turn Your face toward her. Rest Your peace on her soul!! Make clear to her what she needs to bring to your feet. What are the burdens that keep her from walking in your Truth? Let her come to you for healing NOT anyone else!! Let her run to her FATHER because You are in control and will bring ultimate healing in her life! Let her rejoice in the difficult times and in the good times too! In Jesus Name. Amen.

P.S. Go check out Thrive Around the Table’s newest podcast!! We recorded our Friendsgiving event for you and it was SO GOOD!! I hope it brings you hope and wisdom!

Thrive Around The Table | Just Stick It Out EP.2

As I shared in a previous post, we started a podcast! And, one thing I wasn’t expecting was to be on an episode! Episode number two! As you listen and read through this post you will see why this was so difficult for me but also necessary. Facing my fears head on and fighting through the lies.

A couple of years ago I started praying for friends. Three years ago things got hard for me. I couldn’t do it all myself anymore. Life, I couldn’t do life alone anymore. Yes, I have an incredible husband and three fabulous children. We get along well and have a great relationship. However, I had no community. I didn’t have my person. I didn’t have a girlfriend I could call when something exciting happened. I had no one to sit for hours and laugh with or when something happened in my life that hurt me to tears, I had no shoulder to cry on and I didn’t have anyone crying on my shoulder either. Well, except MY babies. And even then, when life seemed so overwhelming, I had no one to walk through those moments with.

I didn’t realize when I was praying for friends that God would lead me to my preacher’s wife and to the woman that grew up in church. And, to top it all off, within just a few weeks of meeting them God sent us all in to starting a women’s ministry! That was pretty extreme. Everything I feared, being around women that had more biblical knowledge than me, and everything I prayed for, community that could teach me and show me how to live more like Jesus, was right in front of me! It was time to set my fears aside and walk in the path the Lord was laying down for me. Deep breath and one step at a time.

Everything I feared, being around women that had more biblical knowledge than me, and everything I prayed for, community that could teach me and show me how to live more like Jesus, was right in front of me!

That sounds so great, doesn’t it? I prayed, the Lord answered my prayers and that was it! Nope. Mentally it wasn’t pretty for me. It was actually so stressful that I was ready to quit. Quit everything. Quit those friendships and quit the amazing women’s ministry we had all just started. I was so focused on the wrong things. My insecurities told me, “You’re not good enough!”, “You don’t belong!”, “There is someone better that can take your place here”, “You don’t know enough about scripture.” These ladies never made me feel this way. They never said anything or acted any certain way that made me feel this way. It was all Satan telling me lies and I was eating them up.

One summer day I was out with a friend. We had taken our children to the zoo and while we were sitting on a bench, I explained to her my feelings. I told her that I felt so different from these new friends. That I felt like I didn’t belong and that I wanted to give up. She responded so plainly with, “Just stick it out!” God had put it on my heart to “just stick it out!” I just needed to hear it! And, thankfully, as loving as God is, he let this stubborn girl hear it!!

So, instead of fighting against where God had led me, I decided to start fighting for it. It was time to stop all the nonsense I was filling my head with and start filling it was His TRUE Word!

Y’all go listen to the podcast! We will have new episodes up soon!